Lesson Learned by Alicia Keys

He broke my heart

and now it's raining

Just don't rub it in

I'm at your door

I feel so crazy bout' it

You say I told you so

You saw it long ago

You knew he had to go

I finally came around

I'm back on solid ground

Can't let it get me down

(2x)It's alright it's alright It's alright It's alright

Yes I was burned but I called it a lesson learned.

Mistake overturned so I called it a lesson learned.

My soul has returned so I call it a lesson learned.

Another lesson Learned

Sometimes some lies can take a minute to fully realize

His tears your eyes 30 seconds to apologize

You give him one more chance just like the time before

but he already knows you'd give a hundred more

until that night in bed, you wake up in a sweat

You're racing to the door

Can't take it anymore

I was burned but I called it a lesson learned

Mistake overturned so i called it lesson learned.

My soul has returned so I call it a lesson learned.

Another lesson learned....

Life perfect, ain't perfect if you don't know what the struggles for

Falling down ain't falling down if you don't cry when you hit the floor

It's called the past 'cause I'm getting past and I ain't nothing like I was before.

You ought to see me now.

Yes I was burned but I called it a lesson learned

Mistake over turned but I called it lesson learned.

My soul has returned so I call it a lesson learned.

Another lesson learned....

Download "Lesson Learned" now from her new CD "As I Am" on http://www.limewire.com/ um, or http://www.itunes.com/ if you're you know, honest :)

Not Today

I don't want to do this today,
I don't want to hear your lies today.
If we leave it all unsaid,
I can pretend this never happened instead.
Remember when I asked you to stay?
Remember how you were able to just walk away?
That was the day that I put back up the wall...
That was the day I realized that I don't matter to you at all.
So, now you pop back into my life...
So, now your words cut me like a knife.
You lied.
I cried.
I said enough...
I made myself be tough.
It hurt me so much to watch you as you walked away,
It hurt me so much to hear the callous things you had to say.
And it makes me mad
That after all of this, I don't want to make you sad.
Why am I affording you a luxury that you did not give to me?
I don't want to hurt you...it's the only way I know how to be.
You say you miss me. I'm sure you do.
If I were you, I'd miss me too.

Current Mood: Reflective

I am exhausted...
I just got home a little while ago. I left my house at 4 a.m. to go to Boca to take my Mom to have surgery. Her procedure lasted for almost eight hours. I was so relieved when they called me to tell me that the surgery was over and she came through it great.
I was going to blog about A coming to visit. He did, and I will.
But...this morning one of our patients committed suicide. He asked his caregiver to prepare his breakfast and then went into his room and shot himself. Senior citizens are NOT supposed to die violently. You anticipate your parent(s) and/or grandparent(s) getting sick and passing away. You prepare yourself for this inevitable passage. It really sucks when things don't go according to plan. I cannot begin to imagine the hurt that his family must be dealing with. My Grandpa was killed in a car accident, and our family was shell-shocked. My heart breaks for his family. How badly must you want to die to put a gun to your head and pull the trigger?
Today was a very emotionally trying day for me. It got me thinking about how fleeting life is, and how permanent death is. Life is too short to do anything but live it to the fullest. All I know is that you need to be thankful for the people in your life, and let them know that you love them every chance that you get...You never know when it might be your last chance. Also, live your life with NO regrets. Be true to you. As the saying goes..."The people that matter don't mind, and the people that mind don't matter".
When my Grandpa died, I struggled to understand and accept it. Here is a poem that I found during that time, and it really struck a chord with me:

"Dirge without Music" by Edna St. Vincent Millay

I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.

So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely.
Crowned With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.
Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,A formula, a phrase remains, --- but the best is lost.
The answers quick & keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,They are gone.
They have gone to feed the roses.
Elegant and curled Is the blossom.
Fragrant is the blossom.
I know.
But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.
Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know.
But I do not approve.
And I am not resigned.

Sorry for being so melancholy tonight. My next blog will be much lighter...PROMISE. I have to tell you all about A...he wants a shout out in my blog and I aim to please! Almost forgot to mention...I'm sick...I am losing my voice...I sound like a dude instead of how I usually sound...like an 11 year old girl...LOL

Going to bed...Goodnight!

I Want...

I want...
A man that makes me feel like I wouldn't be able to breathe if I lost him.
A man that makes me feel like he cannot live without me.
A man that makes me a priority, not an afterthought.
A man that loves me at my worst, and appreciates me at my best.
A man that loves my dogs.
A man that loves my sense of humor.
A man who knows when I need him to hold me and say "Baby, it will be okay."
A man who knows when I need to be left alone, and knows not to take it personally.
A man who knows how to stand up to me.
A man that is tough, but has a soft spot for me.
A man who knows that I am strong, but he makes me weak at the knees.
A man who smells so good, I can't wait to nuzzle my nose into the curve of his neck.
A man with strong arms that make me feel safe when they are embracing me.
A man with a beautiful smile.
A man with a strong work ethic.
A man who is a man

Spare Me...

Spare Me...
The hook-ups, the let-downs, the first dates, the heartaches, the butterflies, the "heartfelt" lies, the warm hand to hold, the demeanor that turns cold, the honesty, the "it's not you, it's me", the flirty hi's, the tearful goodbyes, the taste of your kiss, the way you are impossible not to miss.
Spare Me...
The sight of a crooked smile on your face, the memory of our last kiss that I can still taste, the feel of your hands holding my hips, the feel of your mouth pressing against my lips, the sound of your voice like my favorite song, the healing process that takes so long.
Spare Me...
The gutwrenching tears, the facing of fears, the emptiness, the loneliness, the crying myself to sleep, the overwhelming urge to weep, the happy memories....Please.
Give Me...
A clean slate, a last first date, a smile that I don't have to fake, a decision that is easy to make, a happiness inside of me, a path that I can see, a man who will not break my heart....Please, please, give me a fresh start...