Must See TV....

Here are all the shows that are starting or resuming this fall, in case you were wondering. I know I was!
20/20
Friday, 10:00PM
ABC
09/11/2009
News

30 Rock
Thursday, 9:30PM
NBC
10/15/2009
Comedy

48 Hours Mystery
Saturday, 10:30PM
CBS
09/09/2009
News

60 Minutes
Sunday, 7:00PM
CBS
09/27/2009
News

90210
Tuesday, 8:00PM
CW
09/08/2009
Drama

Accidentally on Purpose
Monday, 8:30PM
CBS
09/21/2009
Comedy

Amazing Race, The
Thursday, 8:00PM
CBS
09/27/2009
Reality

America's Funniest Home Videos
Sunday, 7:00PM
ABC
10/04/2009
Reality

America's Next Top Model
Wednesday, 8:00PM
CW
09/09/2009
Reality

American Dad
Sunday, 9:30PM
FOX
09/27/2009
Comedy

Beautiful Life, The
Monday, 8:00PM
CW
09/16/2009
Drama

Big Bang Theory, The
Monday, 8:00PM
CBS
09/21/2009
Comedy

Biggest Loser, The
Tuesday, 8:00PM
NBC
09/15/2009
Reality

Bones
Thursday, 8:00PM
FOX
09/17/2009
Drama

Bored to Death
Sunday, 9:30PM
HBO
09/20/2009
Comedy

Brothers
Friday, 8:00PM
FOX
09/25/2009
Comedy

Brothers and Sisters
Sunday, 10:00PM
ABC
09/27/2009
Drama

Californication
Sunday, 10:00PM
SHO
09/27/2009
Comedy

Castle
Monday, 10:00PM
ABC
09/21/2009
Drama

Cleveland Show, The
Sunday, 8:30PM
FOX
09/27/2009
Comedy

Cold Case
Sunday, 10:00PM
CBS
09/27/2009
Drama

Community
Thursday, 9:30PM
CBS
09/17/2009
Comedy

Cops
Saturday, 8:00PM
FOX
09/12/2009
Reality

Cougar Town
Wednesday, 9:30PM
ABC
09/23/2009
Comedy

Crash
Friday, 10:00PM
SHO
09/18/2009
Drama

Criminal Minds
Wednesday, 9:00PM
CBS
09/23/2009
Drama

CSI
Thursday, 9:00PM
CBS
09/24/2009
Drama

CSI: Miami
Monday, 10:00PM
CBS
09/21/2009
Drama

CSI: New York
Wednesday, 10:00PM
CBS
09/23/2009
Drama

Curb Your Enthusiasm
Sunday, 9:00PM
HBO
09/20/2009
Comedy

Dancing With the Stars
Monday, 8:00PM
ABC
09/21/2009
Reality

Dateline NBC
Saturday, 8:00PM
NBC
09/26/2009
News

Desperate Housewives
Sunday, 9:00PM
ABC
09/27/2009
Drama

Dexter
Sunday, 9:00PM
SHO
09/27/2009
Drama

Dollhouse
Friday, 9:00PM
FOX
09/25/2009
Drama

Eastwick
Wednesday, 10:00PM
ABC
09/23/2009
Drama

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
Sunday, 8:00PM
ABC
09/27/2009
Reality

Family Guy
Sunday, 9:00PM
FOX
09/27/2009
Comedy

Flash Forward
Thursday, 8:00PM
ABC
09/24/2009
Drama

Forgotten, The
Tuesday, 10:00PM
ABC
09/22/2009
Drama

Fringe
Thursday, 9:00PM
FOX
09/17/2009
Drama

Gary Unmarried
Wednesday, 8:30PM
CBS
09/23/2009
Comedy

Ghost Whisperer
Friday, 8:00PM
CBS
10/03/2009
Drama

Glee
Wednesday, 9:00PM
FOX
09/16/2009
Comedy

Good Wife, The
Tuesday, 10:00PM
CBS
09/22/2009
Drama

Gossip Girl
Monday, 8:00PM
CW
09/14/2009
Drama

Grey's Anatomy
Thursday, 9:00PM
ABC
09/24/2009
Drama

Hank
Wednesday, 8:30PM
ABC
09/30/2009
Comedy

Heroes
Monday, 8:00PM
NBC
09/21/2009
Drama

Hills, The
Tuesday, 10:00PM
MTV
09/29/2009
Reality

House
Monday, 8:00PM
FOX
09/21/2009
Drama

Househusbands of Hollywood
Saturday, 9:00PM
FOX Reality
10/10/2009
Reality

How I Met Your Mother
Monday, 8:30PM
CBS
09/21/2009
Comedy

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Thursday, 10:00PM
FX
09/17/2009
Comedy

Jay Leno Show, The
Monday-Friday, 10:00PM
NBC
09/14/2009
Talk

Law and Order
Friday, 8:00PM
NBC
09/25/2009
Comedy

Law Order: SVU
Wednesday, 9:00PM
NBC
09/23/2009
Drama

Lie to Me
Monday, 9:00PM
FOX
09/28/2009
Drama

Lincoln Heights
Monday, 8:00PM
ABC Family
09/14/2009
Drama

Mad Men
Sunday, 10:00PM
AMC
08/16/2009
Drama

Medium
Friday, 09:00PM
CBS
09/25/2009
Drama

Melrose Place
Tuesday, 9:00PM
CW
09//08/2009
Drama

Mentalist, The
Thursday, 10:00PM
CBS
09/24/2009
Drama

Mercy
Wednesday, 8:00PM
NBC
09/23/2009
Drama

Middle, The
Sunday, 8:30PM
ABC
09/30/2009
Comedy

Modern Family
Wednesday, 9:00PM
ABC
09/08/2009
Comedy

NCIS
Tuesday, 8:00PM
CBS
09/22/2009
Drama

NCIS: Los Angeles
Tuesday, 9:00PM
CBS
09/22/2009
Drama

New Adventures of Old Christine, The
Wednesday, 8:00PM
CBS
09/23/2009
Comedy

Numb3rs
Friday, 10:00PM
CBS
09/25/2009
Drama

Office, The
Thursday, 9:00PM
NBC
09/17/2009
Comedy

One Tree Hill
Monday, 8:00PM
CW
09/14/2009
Drama

Parks and Recreation
Thursday, 8:30PM
NBC
09/17/2009
Comedy

Private Practice
Thursday, 10:00PM
ABC
10/01/2009
Drama

Project Runway
Thursday, 10:00PM
Lifetime
08/20/2009
Reality

Rachel Zoe Project, The
Monday, 10:00PM
Bravo
08/24/2009
Reality

Saturday Night Live
Saturday, 11:00PM
NBC
09/26/2009
Comedy

Secret Girlfriend
Wednesday, 10:30PM
COM
10/14/2009
Comedy

Simpsons, The
Sunday, 8:00PM
FOX
09/27/2009
Comedy

Smallville
Friday, 8:00PM
CW
09/25/2009
Drama

SNL Weekend Update Thursday
Thursday, 8:00PM
NBC
09/17/2009
Comedy

So You Think You Can Dance
Wednesday, 8:00PM
FOX
09/09/2009
Reality

Sons of Anarchy
Tuesday, 10:00PM
FX
09/08/2009
Drama

South Park
Wednesday, 10:00PM
COM
10/14/2009
Comedy

Southland
Friday, 9:00PM
NBC
10/23/2009
Drama

Stargate Universe
Friday, 9:00PM
SyFy
10/02/2009
Reality

Supernanny
Friday, 8:00PM
ABC
10/16/2009
Reality

Supernatural
Thursday, 9:00PM
CW
09/10/2009
Drama

Survivor: Samoa
Thursday, 8:00PM
CBS
09/17/2009
Reality

Three Rivers
Sunday, 9:00PM
CBS
10/04/2009
Drama

Til Death
Friday, 8:30PM
FOX
09/18/2009
Comedy

Trauma
Monday, 9:00PM
NBC
09/28/2009
Drama

Two and a Half Men
Monday, 9:00PM
CBS
09/21/2009
Comedy

Ugly Betty
Friday, 9:00PM
ABC
10/09/2009
Comedy

V
Tuesday, 8:00PM
ABC
11/03/2009
Drama

Vampire Diaries, The
Tuesday, 10:00PM
CW
09/10/2009
Drama

Warm Up Your Tivos...

From AOL:
Returning Shows
Brothers And Sisters
Last Season: Kevin and Scotty tied the knot, Uncle Saul came out and Rebecca revealed that she's not a Walker (there's another "R" Walker!).  What's Next? We'll meet mystery Walker sibling Ryan, there're big changes at Ojai, Kitty and Robert look into adopting and (finally!) more Justin/Rebecca lovin'.

Chuck
Last Season: Questions came up about whether Chuck is still "necessary" as the intersect.
What's Next? Chuck and Sarah make-outs, wedding planning for Ellie and Awesome and major guest stars like Nicole Richie, John Larroquette, Melinda Clarke and Jordana Brewster.

Cold Case
Last Season: Lilly faced her demons after getting shot and learning of her mother's death. She continued to solve mysteries, but clashed with a narcotics officer, Saccardo (Bobby Cannavale).  What's Next: The team puts its sleuthing skills to work solving deaths of a college football player, inner city school teacher and marine.

Criminal Minds
Last Season: Joe Mantegna replaced serial show-ditcher Mandy Patinkin; in the season finale, a car with a team member inside exploded.  What's Next? It depends on whose car was bombed and how severe their injuries are. Will it be Hotch? JJ? We'll find out in the opener.

CSI
Last Season: Sara escaped death, then bailed on Gil and the CSIs. Warrick was shot and left for dead by the undersheriff.  What's Next? Major changes: Sara returns for three eps, Grissom leaves 'CSI' later this fall, Lauren Lee Smith joins the cast and Laurence Fishburne joins as Grissom's replacement.

CSI Miami
Last Season: Callie was kidnapped and saved, ME Alexx quit and her replacement was killed after a whopping five minutes on the job. Horatio learned he was a father, then was shot (dead?) in the finale.  What's Next? Fear not, Horatio and his sunglasses will survive and the search is on to find his shooter.

CSI New York
Last Season: Mac was kidnapped in an elaborate bank robbery scheme.  What's Next? The team investigates the murder of a woman with ties to the bank robbery -- and Flack. Mac is safe, but as he tracks down the kidnapper he discovers an ever growing trail of bodies.

Dirty, Sexy, Money
Last Season: Karen and Simon Elder's relationship was all a Tripp Darling scheme; Nick and Lisa finally got on the same page.  What's Next? Lucy Liu joins the cast as Nola, a lawyer, and Letitia Darling is put on trial for the murder of Nick's dad (her ex-lover) Dutch. Plus, Simon Elder's son enters the picture

Ghost Whisperer
Last Season: Melinda discovered her father was still alive; Anne Archer guest-starred as her mother.  What's Next? Jamie Kennedy joins as a psychic named Eli and Melinda reunites with a high school friend played by guest star Rachael Leigh Cook.

Grey's Anatomy
Last Season: Alex kissed Izzie, Callie kissed Erica Hahn and Meredith and Derek FINALLY got together -- for realz, this time. We think.  What's Next? Cristina gets a love interest; Jeffrey Dean Morgan returns as dead Denny, so troublemaker Katherine Heigl probably won't be killed off (though maybe they meet in heaven?).

House
Last Season: House and Wilson's friendship was put to the ultimate test -- can Wilson see past his girlfriend's death and forgive his buddy?  What's Next? A new face in the hospital: guest star (and possible spin-off star) Michael Weston will play a private eye. And we'll finally get scoop on Cameron and Chase!

How I Met Your Mother
Last Season: After a "near-death" experience, Ted proposed to girlfriend Stella (Sarah Chalke). Meanwhile, Barney was left in a full-body cast after being hit by a bus in front of the hospital.  What's Next? We'll find out whether Stella really is the eponymous 'Mother' and see Barney back in legen -- wait for it -- dary form.

Law And Order SVU
Last Season: Nearly every perv in the city crawled out from under their rocks to perplex and harass Detectives Benson and Stabler.  What's Next? More rocks, more pervs ... and Josh Brolin and Josh Charles, both of whom guest-star (NOT as rapists) in the upcoming season.

Lipstick Jungle
Last Season: While Nico was with boy toy Kirby, her hubby had a heart attack. Victory ran back to Joe, but he'd already found someone new.  What's Next? Nico and Wendy get a new boss ('Las Vegas' alum James Lesure), Rosie Perez will play a feisty publicist and TV legend Mary Tyler Moore drops by as Wendy's mom.

Prison Break
Last Season: Linc reunited with his son, while Michael, still smarting from Sara's beheading, headed off for some revenge.  What's Next? The action will jump forward a month, showing what befell the various Sona escapees in flashbacks. And Dr. Sara (Sarah Wayne Callies) will return, head and all.

Without A Trace
Last Season: Jack went off the rails and was demoted after getting too invested in a teen he saved from sex traffickers.  What's Next? The series moves to Tuesday nights (yay!). Will Jack try to play baby-daddy to Sam's son? Steven Weber joins the cast as Jack's replacement.

Mid-Season Shows
Big Love
When we last saw the Henricksons (summer of 2007), Bill was thinking about taking a fourth wife, Barb outed the family to the neighbors and Alby had taken over the UEB. In season 3, the new-wife candidate, waitress Ana, sticks around, which doesn't go over well with first wife Barb or her polygamy-hating daughter, Sarah.

Castle
You had us at "Nathan Fillion." The 'Firefly' and 'Desperate Housewives' star returns to a lead role in this midseason replacement. Fillion plays a mystery novelist who is called upon by the police to solve murders -- replicated from his own books. Should we expect some killer writing? (Ha ha.)

Dollhouse
Creator Joss Whedon reunites with 'Buffy' alum Eliza Dushku for this slick sci-fi series about a group of brainwashed "dolls" implanted with skills to perform various tasks, until one of them starts to gain her own consciousness. Sounds cool, right? Well, don't get too attached: Production was recently halted so Whedon could rewrite the scripts, which means 'Dollhouse' may go the way of 'Firefly.'

Harper's Island
This new slasher-thriller has all the elements of a so-bad-it's-good horror movie, with a simple trip to a cursed island for a wedding weekend getting interrupted by a murderous stalker. They're promising that someone will die every week, but since this one's on network TV, we probably won't get to see the best parts.

The "L" Word
Showtime's lesbian drama comes to an end after six seasons, but there's good news at least for Alice (Leisha Hailey) fans -- she's getting a spinoff. As for the remaining 8 episodes, expect guest stars galore, including Elizabeth Berkley, as a straight girl from Bette's (Jennifer Beals) past. Fun fact: Berkley and Beals are BFF.

Law And Order
Jack McCoy only became the D.A. last season; by the finale, his future looked grim. But 'L&O' doesn't do the long story arc thing, so expect him to stay put, and as usual, more ripped from the headline stories, B-list guest stars and a developing rapport between newish partners Lupo and Bernard.

Lost
Just because we know the Oceanic Six got off the island doesn't mean we know diddly yet. This season, we'll finally get Rousseau's story, we'll see Jin and Locke again, and Faraday's notebook will play a big role. Also, 'Lost' producers have promised a narrative device that's neither flashbacks nor flash forwards. Maybe the smoke will do voiceovers?

Medium
High-profile stars must like spooky stories, because they continue to show up as guests on 'Medium.' Anjelica Huston and Kelly Preston played roles last season, while Blythe Danner has signed up for a spot in season 5.

Nip/Tuck
Last season's move to L.A. pumped up the outrageous -- and yes, often unbelievable -- factor at McNamara/Troy. (Who would've guessed Sean's agent would snap and start stuffing people like build-a-bears?) Now that the guys are settled in to their new lives in Hollywood, maybe they can get back to boob jobs and lunchtime lipo.

Nurse Jackie
Serial killers, drug dealers, kings with a penchant for execution -- there are very few heroes on cable TV today who aren't devastatingly flawed, and Edie Falco's 'Nurse Jackie' is no exception. A pill-popping, take-no-prisoners caretaker, she often ditches her oaths to treat patients the fair way, but with an extra dose of irresistible attitude.

The United States of Tara
Three big screen names have teamed up for this fresh-faced comedy series about dissociative identity disorder. Diablo Cody wrote the pilot, created by Steven Spielberg, and actress Toni Collette will play each and every one of Tara's personalities.

Madonna Video

Tell me she's not the s**t.  Except for the whole fake British accent...that ain't cute, Madonna...we all know you're from Detroit!

Here's A List of TV Shows That Are Cancelled...

Big Shots (ABC)
Bionic Woman (NBC)
Cane (CBS)
Canterbury's Law (FOX )
Cashmere Mafia (ABC)
Flavor Of Love (VH1)
Hogan Knows Best (VH1)
I Love New York (VH1)
Jericho (CBS)
Journeyman (NBC)
K-Ville (FOX)
Las Vegas (NBC)
Men In Trees (ABC)
Miss Guided (ABC)
Moonlight (CBS)
New Amsterdam (FOX)
Notes From The Underbelly (ABC)
October Road (ABC)
Phenomenon (NBC)
The Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious (CW)
Quarterlife (NBC)
Queer Eye For The Straight Guy (BRV)
The Return Of Jezebel James (FOX)
Shark (CBS)
Viva Laughlin (CBS)
Welcome To The Captain (CBS)
The Wire (HBO)
Women's Murder Club (ABC)

Thoughts?!?

Just Another Manic Monday...

I know, I know. I am not keeping up with my blog. We are pretty much moved in to our new office, so hopefully I will soon have a moment to breathe...and blog! As always, lots to tell and a limited amount of time...I am sitting on my bed half dressed trying to bang this out...LOL. A group of us girls went out on Friday night for our friend Andrea's (Kylin's Mom, not my frenemy) bachlorette party. Can you say "DRUNK"? OMG. I was so sick on Saturday. We went to Yabba's and then to Diva's, where I did see a cute boy. He was wearing a pink striped polo, so if anyone knows who he is...Holla! Check this out. Yabba's closes at 1 a.m. and Diva's closes at 2 a.m. Ok, I'm used to Miami and Ft. Lauderdale...WTF? This s**t is weak!
I'm watching Alicia Keys' concert on the Today show. If most people in America work 9-5, why why why do they start the concerts at 8:45?!? STOOOPID!

We found out that Paula is having a girl...let the shopping begin! Lissy and I are so, so, so excited that we are

Tao hasn't been in his "cribby" (tell me that doesn't sound cuter than crate!) for about a week now. And...my house is still in tact. He's morphing into a good dog...Look out! Oh, Kim started last week. She's a 10! BEYOND! We love her...hope it's mutual :)

Ok...I'm back. It's now 10 p.m. and I just got into bed, so I figured I'd try to wrap this up. We had the day from hell today. I know. I seem to have a lot of those, right?!? Everyone was acting up and every freak came out of the woodwork. Ugh! And...our phones STILL are not working properly. SERIOUSLY?!? I need a vacay! STAT! Girls' weekend. Who's in? I mean it. I'm up for whatever. SoBe...Vegas...doesn't matter as long as it's away from here! I have a date with my Joshie tomorrow night. Lissy & Jacob are taking Noah to "Kindergarten Roundup", which is prep for kindergarten. Can you believe it?!? He's a big boy all of a sudden :(

Let's talk Hollywood, shall we? First and foremost, Her Madgesty Madonna's new CD drops tomorrow. I think. Or maybe it's next week. Either way, I can't wait to hear it. BTW, I got Mariah's new CD & it's pretty good. Sounds ALOT like her last one, but if it ain't broke, don't fix it, right? I know I haven't been keeping you up tp date-Sorry, sorry-so I'll try to give you a quick run down of the recent gossip.

Ashlee Simpson: Pregnant. From tattooed, eyeliner wearing rocker boy Pete Wentz.

Kate Hudson & Owen Wilson: Back together.

Cameron Diaz: Dating p.s. I Love You hottie Gerard Butler...Yummy! Also, on a sad note, Cammie's Dad died suddenly last week of pneumonia. He was only 58 years old. WTF? So sad!

Suri Cruise turned 2. Yawn!

Lindsay Lohan: Off the wagon with a thud!

Eli Manning got married this weekend. Double yawn!

Jessica Simpson: Hospitalized with a *cough* kidney infection. Brought on by binge drinking.

Kanye West: Broke up with his fiance.

Shitney: Will be making another appearance on How I Met Your Mother. Funniest show on TV, BTW. Love it!

Sandra Bullock & her hubby were in a head-on car crash with a drunk driver, but are uninjured. Dear DD, you are f***ed!

From perezhilton.com: "Richard Quest, a business travel specialist for CNN International, was arrested Friday on a misdemeanor charge of drug possession. Authorities said Quest was found in Central Park with methamphetamine.
Police noticed the host of CNN Business Traveler at 64th Street and West Drive a bit after 3:40am. Quest was arrested after he was escorted out of Central Park for violating the park's curfew. Central Park is closed from 1am to 6am. As he was being led out, Quest voluntarily said "I have meth in my pocket."

FYI-Quest was busted with drugs in his pocket, a rope around his neck that was tied to his genitals, and a sex toy in his boot, law-enforcement sources said."

Ok, Pervy McPerv! All together now. WTF?!?

I think that you should be up to date now on all the gossip :)

I'm going to watch the end of "Medium" (more must see tv) and go to bed.

Where Was Ben?

Thanks to Christie for this! Where was Ben while his wife was being groped by has been Gary Busey?!? Perhaps Ben was too busy f***ing Jimmy Kimmel...LOL!

F***ing Matt Damon & Ben Affleck!

Ok, so I'm guessing alot of you may have missed this. Apparently, every night at the end of his show, Jimmy Kimmel pretends to bump Matt Damon. He says something like "My apologies to Matt Damon, but we are out of time." As a joke. So, Matt came up with his own joke with Jimmy's girlfriend of 5 years Sarah Silverman (she's a comedian). Too funny!
To Jimmy From Sarah:

To Sarah From Jimmy:
Pay attention! Cameos by Brad Pitt, Cameron Diaz, Josh Groban, Etc.

Based on the hit novel by Sex and the City author Candace Bushnell. Lipstick Jungle tracks three powerful career women in the business world: Wendy Healy (Brooke Shields), president of Parador Pictures, Victory Ford (Lindsay Price), a high profile fashion designer, and Nico Reilly (Kim Raver), editor-in-chief of a hot selling fashion magazine.

Starts tonight on NBC at 10pm.

BTW, I didn't like the book....we'll see how the show is. I am still loving "Cashmere Mafia". If you haven't checked that out yet you need to. Ask Christie. I got her hooked on it!

"What Rhymes With Door?"

Let's see. I'm already slacking on the blogging...oh, well...New Year's Resolutions are made to be broken, right? Here's a quick wrap up of the celeb gossip: everyone is pregnant. Not really...it just seems that way. Shitney was photographed buying a pregnancy test during one of her daily trips to Rite Aide. I have to go off on a tangent for a minute here. Right Aide?!? Seriously?!? WTF?!? Aren't there any Targets near her? Who shops at Rite Aide? She's such a dummy. Back to the gossip. Matthew McConaughey's GF is pregnant. On his website: "We are stoked." Lovely. Pamela Anderson, it is being reported, is "NOT pregnant anymore". Notice that it is not being reported that she had a miscarriage. That's all I'm saying. That and the fact that maybe if you were drinking and doing drugs while pregnant, you might consider terminating said pregnancy. Ohhhh, that was snarky. You love it. I saw 27 Dresses last night. Very unrealistic, Very cute, kinda silly. I.E. wait for it to come out on DVD. But Katherine Heigel is totally adorable. She so should have been cast as Meredith. It would have been way more believable.
Oh. I'm taking a survey. Have you ever heard of the whole myth about green M&Ms? That they make you horny? I am asking because on Friday, I stopped at the drug store to pick up some Sudafed (Oh, yeah...I'm sick now, too. Sinus infection. Good times.) and I took a little stroll down the candy aisle. And there, right before my eyes, was a bag of only the green M&Ms. I laughed and had to buy them, because when I was in high school, I used to buy bags of M&Ms and literally pick out all the green ones to make a jar for my then boyfriend Nick. Sorry, Mom...I'm sure you totally thought I was a virgin and all.

Speaking of ex-boyfriends, it was X's bday this week. I went on his myspace page to leave him a "Happy Birthday" comment, and, to my utter dismay, his GF (I guess) has a pic of them-him and her-as her default pic. Isn't that cute? By "Isn't that cute?" I mean "Oops...I just threw up in my mouth a little." As for her, please scroll down and see "What rhymes with door". I kid, I kid. I don't even know the bitch, um, I mean young lady who has my sloppy seconds, I mean, is currently dating X. I wish him the best. By that, I mean "I hope something eats him". Yes. I'm bitter. What's your f***ing point?!?

Anyways, I went into my office and said to Lissy and Paula "OMG, you guys! Look what they are making for Valentine's Day. Bags of only the green M&Ms!" Lissy looks up at me (I'm still standing, she's sitting at her desk, hence the looking up) and says 'You mean for St. Patrick's Day (Dummy)?" Me: "Um, no. For Valentine's Day. Like I said." So, Paula and Lissy were both like "Why green M&Ms?" And I'm all "You guys have never heard that green M&Ms make you horny?!?" And I've asked others and no one seems to know this particular urban legend. Except the folks at M&M. Thank G*d, or I'd think that I was delusional! Here's the link: http://www.mms.com/us/coloroflove/ Please comment on this, because I am curious to hear how many of you guys have heard this. The "warning label on the bag of only green ones says "Consumption of The Green Ones may result in elevated Romance Levels. If you experience this effect, contact your Significant Other immediately. No official agency has verified these statements..but what do they know about romance anyway?" Cute, right? So, go out and buy yourself some green M&Ms. Now. And then tell your significant other that I said "You're welcome."

Speaking of inappropriate things...

I went to breakfast with Lissy, Jacob and the boys. At the table (in the CROWDED restaurant), Lissy says "Oh, Noah, let's play your new game with Aunt Mickey. Aunt Mickey, Noah is learning how to rhyme words. So, you say what rhymes with (insert word) and Noah says a rhyming word." Example: Me: "What rhymes with hat?" Noah: "Cat" Ok, seems easy enough. Until Jacob gets involved.

Jacob: "What rhymes with door?"

Noah the Megaphone Mouth: (without missing a beat) "WHORE!"

Yup, that's right. In a sea of senior citizens. At the TOP of his lungs. with a satisfied smile, because he is proud that he found a word that rhymes with door. Oh, and guess what rhymes with go? Uh, huh. "HO"

Now, seriously. How the hell are adults supposed to react to that? I suppose probably not with hysterical laughter. Oops. This ranks up there with Joshie saying "Omig*d, Omig*d, Omig*d!" in his little raspy voice like a stoner valley girl. (If you don't really know the kids, Joshie talks like a surfer, and Noah rocks a thick Brooklyn accent. No idea why.) Too funny.

On a sad note, Bob Newhart Show star Suzanne Pleshette died. She was 70. Lung cancer. Don't smoke. There are cooler ways to die.

Ok, I'm going to go watch some tivo'd stuff. Oh..."Cashmere Mafia"? Must See TV. So snarky. Love it.

Have you heard "Calling You" by Blue October? It's "Niiiiiiiice" as Borat (and Jacob) would say.

Have a great week, all!

Saying "I Do" At The Zoo

Hello, all! I just realized that I never talked about the actual wedding of Drop Dead Ed (Daddy Dearest) to his mistress. At the zoo. (Told ya..that never gets old for me!) BTW, this is not their actual cake, but check out the cake topper. PRICELESS! (That's not a dress from the actual wedding...just my vision of it. Throw in a Precious Moments cake topper and they'll be good to go) So, anyway. The reason that I have not blogged about the Christmas Themed Wedding Extravaganza (from Hell) is that I don't know any details. I sent Daddy Dearest an email (I cc'd her, so I know they had to get it) telling him that I would not be attending, and...Oh, wait. That was it. No response. At all. I know. It's totally f***ed up, right?!? Thank G*d for my Mom, or I'd really be f***ed in the parental unit department. Back to the wedding. At the zoo. My new "step brother" (ok, that just sounds WRONG) has a myspace page & I keep checking to see if he posted any pics of the wedding. None yet. But if he does, I will TOTALLY post them here for us all to laugh at. Sorry, I can't help it...talking about Daddy Dearest makes me very SNARKY. (Google it...it's a word) The wedding (at the zoo) was supposed to be on December 29th, so I am assuming that it did indeed take place and I am the proud owner of a stepmonster, um, I mean stepmother. I am a lucky, lucky girl, huh? Ugh. If you look at the time of this post, you will notice that it's 4 in the morning. That's right. And, I've been up for approximately 2 hours. I can't sleep. Last night also. My doggies are both passed out and snoring. I am in bed on my laptop, and Tao is curled up next to me while Tai Tai is by my feet. They are so sweet and adorable when they are asleep. Why do I have insomnia you ask? Not sure, but I suspect that it's because I am super duper excited that I am getting my new car tomorrow. Well, actually today. I can't wait! Lissy thinks I'm acting like a total freak about my car, she all "It's just a car!", but I've always been into cars. Shh! Don't tell. They might take away my JAP union card...LOL. We are getting pretty busy at work, which is a BEAUTIFUL thing! Did you guys watch "Cashmere Mafia"? (Weds 10pm, ABC) It seems to have potential. It's like "Sex and The City", but on network TV (Translation: no sex, no swearing, no fun...HaHa). Check it out. OMG, whatever you do...DO NOT watch "I Know Who Killed Me" with Lindsay Hohan in it. I wasted 2 hours of my life on that debacle of a movie. It was beyond atrocious. Ok, I am going to try to schluff again. Wish me luck!

Maxin' & Relaxin'...

I am watching the American Music Awards (I know, I know...it was on like 2 weeks ago...I'm trying to catch up on my tivo'd stuff). Can we talk about how the Jonas brother ate sh*t when they walked out? I've taken the liberty of posting the fall for you (to the right, to the right). Did you know that there is one more brother who's not in the band? They call him the "Bonus Jonas". I swear I am not making this up. This ff was courtesy of Lissy. Lenny Kravitz is on now...where the hell has he been? And why is Celine the biggest dork ever?!? Seriously. How about the country version of Irreplaceable? Not sure if I'm feeling it. Why do Beyonce's eyes look like they are going to pop out of her head when she's singing? She totally over emotes. Rihanna killed it...as usual. Have you guys ever seen Sean Kingston? He's a pudgy little thing, right? Not what I expected. I was envisioning more Chris Brown, less Pillsbury Dough Boy. Oh, speaking of Chris Brown, he's coming out now. "The Prince of R&B" they just called him. Does that make the self proclaimed "King of R&B" R Kelley his Dad? I'm just asking...Homeboy can dance, though. He's the new Usher. How ugly is T-Pain?!? Yuck! WTF is Carrie Underwood wearing??? Ok, enough about the AMAs.

Did you guys watch "Gray's Anatomy"? For the first time this season I thought it didn't suck.

I signed Joshie's cast the other night. It's so small...the cutest thing ever! It doesn't even seem to be bothering him, he's really an amazing kid.

So, my water heater is f***ed up & my A/C is broken. So, basically, my water won't get hot and my air won't get cold. Good times. For this Thanksgiving, I give thanks that it's not very hot out :)

Lissy and I got our fishing licenses. We're really into this fishing business! Did you know that you need a license to fish? And you have to throw back under size fish? It's very complicated! Much to Jacob's dismay, I found PINK fishing poles that Lissy and I are going to order. Who says you can't be girly and fish?!?

I just got Alicia Keys' new CD. It is A-MAZ-ING! Love it, love it, love it!! She is performing now...a little Shabba Ranks in the house. Alicia is really a pretty girl, but why does she always wear those stupid lycra jumpsuits that accentuate her pear shape? I think she's a lezbot...she should hook up with Latifah...LOL. I don't know why they think it's such a big deal...come out of the closet, ladies! Speaking of gay celebs...if you don't watch "How I Met Your Mother", Monday at 8pm on CBS would be a good time to start. It is the funniest (is that a word? I think it is) show on TV. Doogie Howser is on it...he's gay in real life...see the connection? It's like "Friends" but more believable. Here's a link to a preview: http://alpha.cbs.com/primetime/how_i_met_your_mother/ Seriously...it is Must See TV! "Chuck" is really funny also...check that out if you haven't already.

Ok, I'm out...catch ya on the flip side, Homies!

"Tell Me What You Don't Like About Yourself..."

Newsflash! Nip/Tuck starts tonight at 10 p.m. on FX! Yay!