A few more days later
One of my first days back to work
So...I survived getting my lips done...just barely. It was TERRIBLE. They told me that it was "just a little worse than the injections"...um, yeah, ok. As in "Giving birth is just a little worse than period cramps." Liars. First of all, it took the doctor 3 tries to get the IV into me, so my arm was all bruised like someone had grabbed me. Then, I had LONG stitches literally hanging out of my mouth on the top lip in both corners and on the bottom in both corners. Yeah...Ewwww! And...the icing on the cake was that my cheek and chin were badly bruised. I looked like a victim of domestic violence. Not a good look, BTW. I had to drink out of a straw, which only took me about 30 minutes to figure out how to suck the liquid through the straw. And I could NOT eat anything. Everything remotely solid got stuck in my stitches. I tried mashed potatoes...that was a debacle. Ryan made pistachio pudding...stuck in the stitches. And it f**king hurt. Bad. Poor Ryan. He says I was a total b***h all weekend. In my defense, I was on pain pills, and I was definately not myself. I was totally miserable, I'll admit it. So, I drank milkshakes for an entire week. If I never see another milkshake again, I'll be good. Then I was able to graduate to matzah ball soup courtesy of my bestie. It took about 2 weeks for me to be able to eat normally. Now, my lips have gone done a lot, but they are still a bit crooked...I have an appointment next week to see about that. I'm still not in love with them.
Ok, now let's talk about when Lissy and I went to the Madonna concert in Miami. What a clusterf**k...OMG! About a week before the concert, Lissy announces to me that she cannot find our tickets. You know, for our floor seats. And Stubhub can't help us. Uh-oh. I was like "I am just glad that it's you and not me, because I'd never hear the end of it"...I'm the "irresponsible one". Go figure. Anyways, she tore apart her house and her office and finally found them. Whew. Then we decide that we should stay at a hotel the night of the concert because I was going to Ryan's the next day and she didn't want to drive home alone late. Ok, no problem. I said I'd book the hotel. I went on hotels.com and booked a room in a hotel right next door to the American Airlines Arena. The night before the concert, Jacob was looking at the hotel online and says to Lissy "Why are you staying 30 miles away from the stadium?" So, Lissy calls me in a panic. I'm all "Um, nooooo...it's at the American Airlines Arena" and Jacob's in the background with all of his attitude going "Um, noooo...it's at the Dolphin Stadium, dummies". So I jump online to look and...Oops! My bad. I had to spend about 1 1/2 hours on the phone with hotels.com getting them to switch us to a different hotel. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that Lissy is like deathly ill at this point with a really nasty flu, just in case there aren't enough issues. So, we check into the hotel and Lissy rests. Then we run to the mall. Um, hello? We were in Miami. It had to be done! And, of course we are running late by the time we get back to the hotel. We go up to our room (which was on the other side of the hotel from the ONE elevator...seriously like a 15 minute hike) and the f**king key doesn't work. Really?!? So, we schlep back downstairs to the front desk for a new key. And...back to the room we go (Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho). We put a speed on it, get dressed, and call the front desk for a taxi. We go downstairs and go outside to wait for the taxi, and there's about 7 cop cars and an ambulance out there...the entrance to the hotel is blocked. Lovely. So...we wait. After about 20 minutes, we ask them to call a taxi again. And...we wait. Again. In the meantime, they wheel this young girl (like early 20s, maybe teens) out on a gurney...Overdose? Rape? Who knows?!? Finally we were like "F**k this" and we decide to drive to the stadium. We were about 45 minutes late. But Madonna was about 3 hours late. Lucky us. I told Lissy it was because she was backstage getting busy with A-Rod. When she finally came out, she says "What's up, Motherf**kers!" and starts the show. No apology, no nothing. But...she was so great that after 15 minutes, we didn't even care. The show was A-MA-ZING! When it was over, we exited on the wrong side of the stadium, so we had to walk around for 1/2 an hour looking for the car. Only us. Total clusterf**k...told you! Well, of course there's lots more to tell you, but that's all the time I have right now.
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