Tao The Terror's Trip To The Emergency Room

So...last night...Tao started choking practically to death. It was so terrible! Thank G*d Melissa & Noah were at my house, because Melissa came with me to the Vet ER. And what happened next is why I write a blog, folks. First of all, let me remind you that Tao is a strapping, 14 pound shih tzu. They take us into a room and while they are asking me questions, I mention that he snapped at his vet last week. That was all they needed to hear. They took that s**t and ran with it. OMG. They were ALL terrified of this little peanut of a dog. It was laughable. They made me put a muzzle on him...he looked like Hannibal Lechter...and they took him in the back for x-rays. A little while later, he comes trotting out...NO MUZZLE, calm as can be, with one of their ghetto leashes on him. Um, did I mention that he was choking/not breathing properly?!? Good call on the noose around his neck, DUMMIES! So, the tech looks at us (by "us" I mean they all did the looking back & forth between me & Melissa thing...I told her "FYI...they totally think we are lesbians. Lissy & I get that s**t all the time. Seriously! I guess it didn't help when I said "He hates men." Oh, well.) and he says "He wouldn't let us take any x-rays." I totally thought he was kidding. But...he wasn't. "He kept taking the muzzle off & trying to bite us." Kept taking the muzzle off with what? His HANDS?!? And I think he was expecting me to say "Ok...we'll just go home then". WTF? Not in this lifetime. I was like (in my head) "Ok, let me f***ing think for you!" (outloud) "How about you keep him here (it's about 11 p.m. at this point), sedate him, x-ray him & monitor him?" Dude...try thinking outside the box...HELLO?!? So, they agreed to keep him...pending the infamous estimate. Oh, really?!? Just f***ing take the dog & fix him. Whatever it is, it is. That took another 20 minutes. On the plus side, the estimate was only $300-400. So, the tech brings me back the ghetto leash and asks me to put it on him, because he'd love to pick him up, BUT...Ok, you f***ing P**SY! Now, come on. This is a VET EMERGENCY HOSPITAL. All they deal with day in & day out is sick and/or in pain animals. Animals bite when they are in pain and/or scared. Do you mean to tell me that Tao the Snapping Shih Tzu is the most ferocious thing they've encountered?!? Unbelievable. Anyhoo...they sedated him & x-rayed him. He swallowed something that is now in his tummy. We have to watch for it to pass. LOVELY! Whatever it was must have been lodged in his esophagus. Poor little baby! I picked him up this morning, and the guy was all "He's not a happy patient..." basically implying that he was raising hell all night there. He actually took me back into the ICU to get Tao because he was afraid of him. Total pansy. He wouldn't even open the cage. So, I opened the cage, and...out comes my little hellion, wagging his tail a mile a minute and jumping on me and kissing me. Totally understand why they were so scared of him, right? So...that was my night/morning. Did I mention that I've spent about $2000 on my dogs this month? And I'm going to Disney with Lissy, Jacob & the boys tomorrow. The good news is that Tao is snoozing right by my feet like he doesn't have a care in the world. Never a dull moment!