She's Baaaack!

Shitney was released today. So much for the 14 day hold. Here's a quick synopsis for you: Shitney was released from the psych ward (which, btw, is the new rehab), Shitney got in a car to drive home, Shitney kicked her newly hired bodyguard out of her car, Shitney was followed by a bunch of stalkerazzi, Shitney checked into the Beverly Hills Hotel, Adnan the creep showed up and off they went to Shitney's lawyer. Uh-oh. Looks like she's going to try to get back control of her finances. She is a disaster! The only good thing in this is that there is a restraining order against Osama Lufti who has admitted to drugging her. Um, hello?!? Isn't that, oh I don't know...ILLEGAL??? If you want some insight on why Shitney is so f**ked up, pick up the new Rolling Stone magazine. Some juicy excerpts:
• As a teen, the singer’s mother, Lynne, allowed her to get breast implants.
• The singer never bonded with her father Jamie, mostly because of his heavy drinking.
• When Britney was just beginning her career in the 1990s, she was bribed to work around the clock.
• Throughout her career, she lobbied “ to appear sluttier,” the magazine claims, to appear more mature.
• She reportedly began sleeping with Wade Robson around the time of the 2001 VMAs. “In February 2002, Timberlake discovered a ... note from Robson in Britney’s room.
Nothing very earth-shattering.
Heath Ledger's death was ruled an "accidental overdose" of PRESCRIPTION MEDS. There but for the grace of G-d...So scary. So glad that I am no longer on all the narcotics for my neck injury! It's so sad because it could have been prevented. The only good thing to come out of it is that the DEA is investigating, so hopefully the Drs will be held accountable.
Kirsten Dunst is reportedly in rehab. Yawn.
J-Ho's Dad confirmed that she's having twins. Double yawn.
In sports news, the Phoenix Suns acquired Shaquille O'Neal in a stunning, blockbuster deal that sent four-time All-Star Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks to the Miami Heat. The trade required a significant financial commitment from budget-conscious owner Robert Sarver because O'Neal is scheduled to make $20 million this season and $20 million more each of the next two.
"TINLEY PARK, Ill. (AP) - Five people were shot Saturday at a women's clothing store south of Chicago, authorities said." Did you guys hear about this? They are not really giving it a lot of coverage. It was a Lane Bryant store. I'm not saying anything else.
I'm sure you are all aware of the tornadoes that have killed 55 people in the south. Terrible.
And now for a story from (where else?) Florida: "MIAMI (Feb. 6) - The state is trying to dissolve a community of sex offenders living under a bridge that includes a gym, kitchen, living room and two dogs. The men have lived under the Julia Tuttle Causeway for a year. They say limited money and strict local ordinances make it nearly impossible for them to live anywhere else. But state officials are telling them to leave." The article goes on to say that authorities are "urging" the men to leave. Urging?!? Shouldn't they be a bit more proactive? Like maybe "forcing" them? Unbelievable!
On a personal note, today was a better day. The letter that I got from the IRS was telling me that they owe me some money from 2005. They realized this because they questioned something on my return..,how do like them apples? OMG. I sent out evites for my friend Christie's birthday dinner and my pleasure party, and it is turning into a clusterf**k for real. I have to change the dates on both. For those of you affected, stay tuned. I'll be sending out emails soon. Lissy's Mommy & Daddy are here from New York. I can't wait to see them tomorrow :) I picked up the boys yesterday at school. Ok, here's a big reveal. A secret that only my nearest and dearest know about me. I have a serious choking phobia. What?!? You thought that I was going to tell you something juicy? As if! Anyhoo, back to the choking phobia...specifically children and/or animals choking on my watch. Seriously. I practically have a panic attack when I have to feed the kids alone. If I ever have kids, they won't be eating solid foods until they are 16. LOL. So, I go to pick up the boys. The woman behind the desk was new, I think...I've never seen her before. She takes my driver's license and scrutinizes it, looking back and forth between the license and the passes for the kids, which clearly have my name on them. Do I look suspicious? So I get Joshie, and then Noah. We walk through the lobby, and they want lollipops. Oh, hell no. My worst nightmare. Eating in the car. So, I say "No, guys. Not before dinner." And pull Joshie's hand out of the lollipop container, triggering a meltdown. Full on crying...crocidile tears and all. And everyone is looking at me like "WTF did you do to Joshie, you B***h?!?" So, Noah tells anyone who will listen "Joshie is sad because he wants a lollipop but Mickey said NO (Emphasizing the NO). Great. They totally hate me at the school now. So, I scoop Joshie up and...Lo and behold. All's right in his world again. So he nuzzles into my shoulder and off we go. The rest of the night was uneventful. After our alien conversation, I bought ET for Noah. Jacob seems to think that it's too scary for Noah. I disagree. If you people would ever leave comments, I could find out your opinions on the matter. Sorry, subtlety is not one of my many talents. If you want sarcasm, a snarky comment or the brutal truth, I'm your girl-I rock at those! Oh, the cutest thing ever that Noah said to me. "Mickey, I'm going to make you a picture that you can put on your fridge. It's going to be a heart because you are my heart girl." I guess that's some variation of "Sweetheart", but whatever. Totally melted my heart. He's too much. Ok. I am going to try to get some sleep tonight, unlike the last few nights.
Later....