Same Sh*t, Different Day

We have to, have to, have to talk about this for a minute. WTF was up with Tom Brady's face during the Super Bowl?!? He had ORANGE self-tanner dripping down his face. And as he got sweatier, he got more orange. It was BAD! And nobody is talking about it on the internet! WTF?!? Did you guys notice it? Everyone I've asked has said no, but I thought it was so obvious. Maybe I was just staring at Tom a little too much, huh? Guess what? Monday was the day from hell part two. Ugh. So over it! I seriously wanted to go home and go to bed. You know the kind of day when EVERYTHING goes wrong? That was yesterday for me. It started with my coffee. I purposely didn't go to my crack dealer, um, I mean Starbucks yesterday because I wanted to try t wean myself off of that. Well, then Lissy calls me & wants to know if I want anything from Starbucks. Of course I was all over it, self control right out the window! So she ordered my usual (Venti nonfat 2 Splenda Caramel Macchiatto Extra Hot)& brought it to me. I took a big sip, anticipating the yumminess and...it's the wrong f***ing drink. Ok, I'm not trying to be a bitch here, but come on! If you are going to charge $4 plus for a cup of coffee, don't you think you could get it right?!? I am still drowning in paperwork...ugh! I got a letter from the IRS about my 2005 tax return, that's always fun. I saw IRS and my heart started racing. But it was ok-nothing with nothing. I went to the dentist, whose office had already told me that they took our insurance and when I was filling out my paperwork..."Oh, we don't take THAT Blue Cross/Blu Shield.", looking disdainfully at me like I'm DUMB. Whatever. So, that was a total waste of my time. And, it just went downhill from there. Oh, well. At least I can laugh at it! OMG. Noah. Cutest. Kid. Ever. After the Super Bowl, our friend Steph went in to say goodbye to the boys (they were in another room watching a DVD) and this transpired:
Noah: "So, the game's over?"
Steph: "Yes."
Noah: "Did the Patriots win?" (Dude, he's 4!)
Steph: "No they didn't win."
Noah: "Why did they losted?"
Steph: "Because they didn't get enough points."
Noah: (Mulls it over in his head) "Maybe they didn't have fast enough shoes. Next time, they need to go to the store and buy faster shoes."
Oh, to be a kid again, huh?
Last night I talked to him on the phone for about 20 minutes. He talks to me like he's such a grown up. He asked me "Where is your Dad, Mickey?" In hell? No, I didn't say that to him...just thought it. I said "He lives far, far away." Noah: "Far away like the moon?" Hmmm...I thought...one could hope! "Yes, he lives on the moon." I thought it would drop it, but then he wanted to know how he got there. So I told him that aliens took him. Because he did very bad things. ("Like not stopping at a red light?!?" "Yes, exactly!") Then I told him that these same aliens ("What color are they?" "Green, of course!") come and take children who aren't asleep after 11 o'clock. What?!? The kid is an insomniac. And his parents are like zombies because they are so tired from dealing with him. Speaking of being tired, I am f***ing exhausted! I haven't been sleeping well at all. It's terrible. And there's nothing worse than being wide awake when you are able to be sleeping. And I do the whole "If I go to sleep right now, I can get 2 more hours of sleep" thing. As if! Even my doggies are fast asleep and they pick up their heads, give me a look of disgust, sigh, and then bango! Right back to sleep. Lucky little f***ers! Once I'm up, I'm up...no more sleep for me. Thank G*d for the internet and Law & Order reruns all night long! I'd lose my sh*t otherwise. Ok, this has gone on for far too long. I am deliriously ADD from my lack of sleep. Sorry for the rambling! And now, for the celeb-retards: Shitney is now on a 14 day hold in the cuckoo bin, and her Daddy Dearest has control over her estate. Ok, best headline of the week, month, maybe even year! "50 Cent Makes Paris Hilton Cry" At a party in Arizona-alledgedly-Paris attempted to dance on stage with the rapper, who was having none of it. 50 Cent shouted "Get the F--K off my stage." Paris broke down in tears, crying to a party planner "but it's my party." HaHa. Too funny.
So, I guess the big thing to talk about now is the election. Go, Hillary! is all I'm saying. She wasn't my first choice, but after seeing her on Tyra (Yes, Tyra...is that a problem?!?) and watching the debates, I'm totally onboard with her! Plus, having Bill back in the White House isn't going to hurt.
“Well, you see, I told you I could bring the country together.”- Hillary Clinton tells Inside Edition, on the news that conservative commentator Ann Coulter would endorse her over John McCain Ok, seriously. How can you not love her after that comment?
How sweet would it be if Hillary & Obama ran on the same ticket (Pres & VP)? Probably won't happen, but a girl can dream! OMG. John McCain's wife? Total trainwreck. Honest. Google her-you'll see-Cindy McCain.
Ok, folks, that's it for now. Peace out.