I am exhausted...
I just got home a little while ago. I left my house at 4 a.m. to go to Boca to take my Mom to have surgery. Her procedure lasted for almost eight hours. I was so relieved when they called me to tell me that the surgery was over and she came through it great.
I was going to blog about A coming to visit. He did, and I will.
But...this morning one of our patients committed suicide. He asked his caregiver to prepare his breakfast and then went into his room and shot himself. Senior citizens are NOT supposed to die violently. You anticipate your parent(s) and/or grandparent(s) getting sick and passing away. You prepare yourself for this inevitable passage. It really sucks when things don't go according to plan. I cannot begin to imagine the hurt that his family must be dealing with. My Grandpa was killed in a car accident, and our family was shell-shocked. My heart breaks for his family. How badly must you want to die to put a gun to your head and pull the trigger?
Today was a very emotionally trying day for me. It got me thinking about how fleeting life is, and how permanent death is. Life is too short to do anything but live it to the fullest. All I know is that you need to be thankful for the people in your life, and let them know that you love them every chance that you get...You never know when it might be your last chance. Also, live your life with NO regrets. Be true to you. As the saying goes..."The people that matter don't mind, and the people that mind don't matter".
When my Grandpa died, I struggled to understand and accept it. Here is a poem that I found during that time, and it really struck a chord with me:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely.
Crowned With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.
Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,A formula, a phrase remains, --- but the best is lost.
The answers quick & keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,They are gone.
They have gone to feed the roses.
Elegant and curled Is the blossom.
Fragrant is the blossom.
I know.
But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.
Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know.
But I do not approve.
And I am not resigned.
Sorry for being so melancholy tonight. My next blog will be much lighter...PROMISE. I have to tell you all about A...he wants a shout out in my blog and I aim to please! Almost forgot to mention...I'm sick...I am losing my voice...I sound like a dude instead of how I usually sound...like an 11 year old girl...LOL
Going to bed...Goodnight!
I just got home a little while ago. I left my house at 4 a.m. to go to Boca to take my Mom to have surgery. Her procedure lasted for almost eight hours. I was so relieved when they called me to tell me that the surgery was over and she came through it great.
I was going to blog about A coming to visit. He did, and I will.
But...this morning one of our patients committed suicide. He asked his caregiver to prepare his breakfast and then went into his room and shot himself. Senior citizens are NOT supposed to die violently. You anticipate your parent(s) and/or grandparent(s) getting sick and passing away. You prepare yourself for this inevitable passage. It really sucks when things don't go according to plan. I cannot begin to imagine the hurt that his family must be dealing with. My Grandpa was killed in a car accident, and our family was shell-shocked. My heart breaks for his family. How badly must you want to die to put a gun to your head and pull the trigger?
Today was a very emotionally trying day for me. It got me thinking about how fleeting life is, and how permanent death is. Life is too short to do anything but live it to the fullest. All I know is that you need to be thankful for the people in your life, and let them know that you love them every chance that you get...You never know when it might be your last chance. Also, live your life with NO regrets. Be true to you. As the saying goes..."The people that matter don't mind, and the people that mind don't matter".
When my Grandpa died, I struggled to understand and accept it. Here is a poem that I found during that time, and it really struck a chord with me:
"Dirge without Music" by Edna St. Vincent Millay
I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely.
Crowned With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.
Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,A formula, a phrase remains, --- but the best is lost.
The answers quick & keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,They are gone.
They have gone to feed the roses.
Elegant and curled Is the blossom.
Fragrant is the blossom.
I know.
But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.
Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know.
But I do not approve.
And I am not resigned.
Sorry for being so melancholy tonight. My next blog will be much lighter...PROMISE. I have to tell you all about A...he wants a shout out in my blog and I aim to please! Almost forgot to mention...I'm sick...I am losing my voice...I sound like a dude instead of how I usually sound...like an 11 year old girl...LOL
Going to bed...Goodnight!
Posts
